unseeing continuity

I
Immersed, reflecting, twisted, I --
within an atom vortex, my
digestions nourishing what thought
of how best work, with whom, from whence,
will posit yet more evidence
for going on, for doing — sought
to close the loop, renewing
all this seeming and those ensuing 
false equivalences saying
the world is now decaying
due some drab deterministic,
classic, highly pessimistic
beings being individualistic.

II
“Ah, so you wish to poke the bear?”
I dunno, but Teach — do I dare, 
and do I dare? Will I really
ever reach that -sigh- or them?  
I searched: “image of a diadem”
was given options, but until he
returned, reviewed, and reminded
me my worth, I all but rescinded 
my vows when it was revealed
how what I learned could be repealed
just as easy as that, if not
easier yet. This fierce thought
haunted me, thus leaving me distraught. 

III
No! No longer could I just slide by,
effective, so as to hide my
uncertainties about mine tender
dreams and passions, lost in crossing
time and time again, in tossing,
turning, sleepless nights, to render
then a passive scroll. Avoiding, now
in fashion, like a pointing, pressing how
their taking tolls, while behind scenes,
“they’re cashing in on…” quarantines
of hearts and souls, devoid of light.
No, my opened eyes, attending sight,
attentive heard, the calls to fight.

IV
Instructive tongues spoke against spite,
yet charged me to advance despite
the dark thoughts I would never delve,
the ever-raging flood of feeling,
confusing, consuming, appealing
to my lesser, lower bounds of self.
No, I — my element in pain, 
unbinding from years of disdain --
endeavor to unknot the schemes,
the maxims, the accounts of dreams,
the convincing and reasoning,
and rather vowel Truth and sing
of Graceland and of forgiving.