somehow

the idea of me
being six foot three
getting gray
having less to say
giving more away

simply noting 
simple predilections
recollections about
previous experiences
in the jungle

reminded when cognizing
-more soulful asks needed
-less selfishly heated
I should rather be moved
by the heat of the stars

but waste the day inside a house
with windows shielding
from the feel of it
from the unbearable unreal heat of it
from the waves of rays awash 

I sit for twenty
to drop into it
to play in the stillness and harsh of it
to stop so I can be
more willful in it

the waves of unbeing
of every minute
resonating more or less
the order of time
sits here on my desk

I type knowing this
I type and digress yes
what's coming to play
in me a mantra to carry 
this gift and this way

into nothing
and but what's next
ahh some something
sought and tread
wearing consciousness

the idea of mind really matters
standing here before you
apart and completely alive 
I'll be gone before you 
actually arrive 

actually realize
I am here in you
listening actually hearing you
here in the mind where
the winds and words fumble

hearing you think
hearing your stomach grumble
hearing your throat a gurgle
holding something now
hearing thought disassemble

the magic wondering
how and how
you are here in me now
let us be in it
somehow and somehow